


Scary (& Adorable) Little Ninjas

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bittersweet, Cute Ending, Domestic, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Future Fic, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Married Couple, Oneshot, Penn is a great husband and dad but Sashi is a tough love momma, the kids are little terrors like you wouldn't believe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-24 13:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4920838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Zero-Kobayashi family is far from normal... but it's not like that's a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scary (& Adorable) Little Ninjas

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note on my Penashi kids: the girls are fraternal twins and their brother is two years younger. 
> 
> Enjoy reading about the chaos they place upon their parents.
> 
> (and why the hell wouldn't i reference that quote)

He could hear her yelling from outside. Of course, her words weren’t crystal clear, but there was no denying the fact she was mad. Penn almost got back into his car and drove off… almost. Instead, he strode into the house to see his wife reprimanding their kids.

“I don’t want this to happen ever again!” Sashi said, hands on her hips and her glare going dark. “Do you hear me?! I am sick and tired of getting calls because you three decided to get in trouble just for kicks!”

The trio of children all nodded in unison as they looked down at the floor.

With a deep sigh, Sashi waved them off. “Go to your rooms,” she muttered.

As the kids stumbled off of the couch and shuffled down the hallway, Penn slowly stepped over to his wife.

“Do I want to know?” he said slowly.

“No,” Sashi deadpanned. “You don’t.”

“But you’re going to tell me anyway,” Penn replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sashi frowned heavily, focusing her glare on him this time around. “Actually, no,” she declared. “You can go ask your hellspawn what they did this time.” She nearly growled when he gently took her wrist and pulled her in, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Again, _your_ hellspawn.”

“Pretty sure the violence was all you, Sash,” Penn muttered, with a hint of a cheeky grin.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she let out a grumble of frustration and stepped away from him, storming upstairs - most likely to her office.

Okay. So that’s how she was going to be.

Penn sighed, and ran a hand through his hair as he made his way down the hall.

First, he found himself standing outside the girls’ room; with their door covered in homemade “posters”, which were actually just pieces of paper covered in glitter and sloppy handwriting. He knocked briefly, and eased the door open a crack.

“Girls? What did you do this time?” he said slowly-

-and he stopped when he noticed his daughters tying together their bedsheets.

“If this is what I think it is...” Penn muttered.

“We’re gonna go live with auntie Phyllis!” the girls said in unison.

A groan dared to slip past Penn’s lips, but instead, he sat in a outrageously pink play chair that was far too small for him. “Really?” he asked. “Why?” He looked between his two daughters, and pointed to one of them. “Loralei? You want to explain?”

The spitting image of her grandmother - bespectacled and curly-haired with soft features - the younger twin, Loralei, twirled the sheet around her small hands.

“We don’t like getting in trouble,” she whined. “But Mama thinks we do. She’s making me and Xena go to different schools.”

“So we’re gonna run away and not go to any school!” the other girl, Xena, piped up.

“What did you do?” Penn asked, focusing his gaze on the twins.

The girls nudged each other for a moment, each silently beckoning the other to tell the tale. Finally, it was Loralei, always the responsible voice of reason, to speak up with a hint of shame in her quivering tone of voice. She adjusted her taped-together glasses, and almost sniffled.

“I… I kinda ran over Kage Jenkins’s foot with my bike during recess,” she muttered. “And Xena shoved woodchips down his pants. B-but that’s only because he ripped up my homework and threw our  backpacks over the fence.”

“And we let Xander walk home on his own,” Xena added, as she tossed the rope of bedsheets out the open window. “But he was okay.”

Penn stifled a laugh at his daughters’ amusing methods of revenge for such petty acts against them. However, he managed to clear his throat and remain serious.

“Did you guys forget the talk we had a week ago? About how beating people up is only okay if they hit you first?” he said.

The two girls looked at each other, obviously ashamed at the truth.

Xena rolled her eyes, and pouted. “But Mama didn’t have to yell at us,” she said. “Or make us go to different schools. We can’t do that! We’re sisters! Sisters don’t go to different schools-” She looked at her father, dark blue eyes wide and a frown beginning to form. “-right?”

“Well,” Penn hesitated, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “If it’s what your mom thinks is best.”

“But we don’t want to,” Loralei whined.

With a sigh, Penn stood up and outstretched his arms, letting both of his daughters collapse against him in a hug. He ruffled their hair, and bent down to place a kiss on both of their foreheads.

He gave them assuring smiles. “I’ll see what I can do, okay?” he said. “So don’t run away right now. Promise?”

“Promise,” the girls said in unison, holding up both of their hands to show no crossed fingers.

“Those are my girls,” Penn declared.

Both Xena and Loralei watched with bittersweet smiles as their father left the room, and in return, he gave them a thumbs-up of reassurance.

Then, Penn prepared himself.

Unfortunately, his son was about as stubborn as he was.

(At this rate, he was still confused on why Sashi never agreed to Penn Zero Jr. six years ago…)

Penn was surprised to see the door to his son’s room wide open, and he frowned when he noticed the little boy curled up in the corner between his bed and the wall. The kid was a bit of a softie, so that would explain why he was sniffling…

“Hey, Xander,” Penn murmured. “You okay, bud?”

“Uh-huh.”

The whimpering tone of his son’s voice said otherwise.

Cautiously, Penn took steps into his son’s room, before finally taking a seat on the side of the bed. He put his hand out, as a sign- but Xander refused it. Of course.

“Wanna tell me what happened at school?” Penn spoke up. “Your mom seemed pretty upset.”

“I’m not in trouble,” Xander muttered.

“I didn’t think you would,” Penn said. Honestly, he did believe that. His son was an angel compared to the twins. “But you seemed pretty bummed out.”

Xander whined- and his father noticed that the little boy was clutching tight onto his favorite stuffed animal. A stuffed pink bunny; which had become an inside joke between Penn and Sashi that, thankfully, their children didn’t know about.

 _Yet,_ Penn reminded himself.

“Something big must have happened if you have Buttons,” Penn said, reaching out to gently tap his son on the arm.

The little boy coughed out a laugh. “I just don’t like it when Mama gets mad,” he mumbled. “A-and the school called ‘cause somebody made fun of me again.” Xander’s bottom lip shook, and he wiped a trail of snot on the back of his hand. “It wasn’t nothin’ big but the teacher is kinda mean and calls parents all the time.”

A soft “oh” escaped Penn.

“And I had to walk home alone ‘cause Xena and Loralei took the bus without me,” Xander added. “But I just went back to school and called Uncle George to come pick me up.”

“It’s okay, buddy,” Penn said, patting his son on the shoulder. “You’re not upset about getting teased, are you?”

Xander shook his head, “Nope. I’m a Zero and a Kobayashi, right? We don’t get upset ‘bout stupid stuff. That’s what Mama says.”

Penn smiled. “And your mom’s right,” he assured.

“I just didn’t like seein’ her yell,” Xander mumbled. “I didn’t even do anything…”

“I know, I know,” Penn sighed. His wife’s temper never seemed to fade, even after all of these years. “But it’s because she worries about you kids, you know that. It’s kind of dumb but she can get mad sometimes because she loves you. She just shows it in funny ways.”

Xander’s big brown eyes peeked out from his shaggy raven hair, and he attempted a smile.

“Like when she calls you stupid?” he giggled.

“Yeah,” Penn said slowly. “Something like that.” He paused for a moment, and ruffled his son’s hair. “I’m gonna go talk to her, okay? You’re all good?”

With a nod, Xander sniffled again. “I think so,” he said.

“Don’t cause any more trouble,” Penn teased, as he got up and left.

As he stole one last look to make sure his daughters weren’t still trying to escape - they were playing with their Barbies, thank God - Penn slowly made his way upstairs. He wasn’t surprised when he entered the spare room that was Sashi’s office and saw his wife looking out the window, scowling… and possibly holding back tears.

He didn’t even have to say anything.

Instead, Penn stood next to her, looping an arm around her shoulders.

“So,” he mused. “Switching schools. Getting made fun of. What else did I miss?”

“Xena screamed ‘I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood and I’m not afraid to go out the same way’ when a boy tried to hit her,” Sashi muttered.

Penn’s jaw nearly fell to the floor. “Definitely your daughter,” he retorted.

Sashi groaned, holding her face in her hands. “I feel like the worst mother in the world,” she groaned. “You’d think, after eight freakin’ years I would know, but there’s always something new a-and I don’t know how to keep up…”

She trailed off, looking at her husband with conflicted emotions.

“Do you think we’re doing a good job?” she asked.

“We’re doing a great job, Sash,” Penn murmured, placing a kiss on his wife’s temple. “We’re raising three crazy, amazing kids. They’re just … being kids. Being like us. We can’t change them, or prevent them from being them. Even if, you know-” He chuckled as he took Sashi’s hands into his own. “-they tend to be more like you.”

Sashi let out a sound between a groan and a laugh as she buried her face into his shoulder.

“Don’t remind me,” she said softly.

“Oh, I don’t have to,” Penn assured. “They already do.”

“Wha-”

After a moment of silence, Sashi shook her head as she looked over her husband’s shoulder.

“Get in here, you three,” she declared.

The kids shoved one another into the room, muttering at each other, and eventually stumbling in front of their mother and father. Each one looked bashful or stubborn in their own way, perfect reflections of their parents at that age…

Penn gave Sashi a beckoning nod, and she sighed as she looked at their children.

“I’m sorry,” she said, adopting her usual soft voice when speaking to the kids. “I just…”

“Wanna keep us safe,” Xander spoke up, stopping the nervous tic of chewing on his thumb. “Because you love us?”

Sashi dared to cry, and she managed a nod. “Yeah,” she muttered.

The girls still remained stubborn, arms crossed and frowns heavy. Penn nudged Sashi as their sign; yes, they both knew it, their daughters were perfect mixes of them both. Which made it immensely difficult to keep them under control…

“You two are still grounded,” Sashi reminded them. “But … maybe you won’t go to different schools…”

“Auntie Phyllis said we can live with her anytime,” Xena spoke up, with a bossy tone of voice.

Sashi rolled her eyes- a habit the girls definitely picked up off of her. “Girls,” she said, starting to trail off. “Don’t stay mad at me. Please. I’m not upset with you two anymore, am I?”

Her smile was enough to convince the eight-year-olds.

Loralei shrugged, “I guess we can stay here.”

Xena frowned, “Only if you change the punishment to one week.”

“Week and a half,” Sashi persisted.

“A week and two days,” Xena argued, not realizing the difference.

Sashi pursed her lips, pretending to be convinced. “You’re good,” she said, holding out her hand. “You got yourself a deal.”

After a moment’s hesitation, the girls took their mother’s hand- and Xander joined in just for the heck of it. This sudden grip caused Sashi to grin and yank all three of her children in for a group hug, bending down to embrace all of them. She kissed the tops of their heads, whispering apologies and “I Love You”, despite the girls’ protests.

And Penn couldn’t help himself, he bent down, stealing a quick kiss on the lips from his wife…

...which summoned the kids to squeal and dash out of the room, pretending to gag.

“We have the cutest kids-” he sighed.

“Demons,” she corrected, with a smirk.

“What’s the difference?” he asked.

**Author's Note:**

> *on the rooftop of a building* I FUCKING LOVE MY PENASHI FAMILY SO MUCH LOOKIT THESE DORKS
> 
> ... *ahem* Comments are always appreciated! :)


End file.
